Pale and Purple

This morning Dad is breathing very rapidly and his breaths are shallow. He is very warm and clammy and  had some blood in his mouth when i came downstairs; I think he must have had another seizure in the night and bitten his tongue. I've also noticed that although warm, his hands are a ghostly white and his knees look purple, while his shins and feet are a bit pale. The nurse who came this morning washed him and remarked that he did look different from yesterday. Early on the nurses declared what a 'lovely bottom' Dad had, but this morning the nurse found a pressure sore on his bum. So we have put some cream on it, in the hopes it doesn't burst and become even more painful for Dad. He is lying quietly now with the radio on and i am going to light a fire as it is freezing.

Goodnight is the hardest word

Night-time is hard. I spend all day every day with Dad at the moment and i find it really hard to say Goodnight to him. Even though he squeezes my fingers in his hand and tells me goodnight too. I don't like leaving him downstairs in the dark all alone, especially now he is so weak, skinny and confused. Worse still are the mornings. I know it is very possible sometime soon that i will go to wake him in the morning and not be able to.

Another Fit

Dad slept almost all day and it was only around 5pm that he was more awake and we managed to get him to eat anything (some strawberries) So much for getting more fluids and fibre into him.  He was more alert with the afternoon visit from the nurses and when they said "We'll be off now then" Dad said "Oh good" He didn't mean to be rude, we've noticed in fact that he makes an extra effort to behave with visitors, so it brought a smile to our faces (and the nurses took it well). After dinner Mum, my brother and i settled with Dad to watch the television and Dad had another small seizure. It was over a bit quicker than last night and we put him in the recovery position to sleep it off.

Fits but no giggles

Dad had a seizure last night. It wasn't a full body seizure; it only seemed to affect his head, neck and shoulder, but it was still alarming. My brother and i were sitting with him watching television and we suddenly realised Dad was making a lip-smacking noise and shuddering. It lasted about a minute. We waited for the seizure to end and i looked inside his mouth to check he hadn't bitten his tongue, then lay him down to sleep. Mum called the NHS out of hours service and a doctor called us back about 15 minutes later. We spoke through everything and he reassured us that we were doing the right thing to let him sleep and that there wasn't anything more we could do. Having taught first aid for years i am familiar with treatment for epileptic seizures, but knowing Dad doesn't have epilepsy, wanted to double check the same treatment was correct for Dad's situation. Mum decided to sleep downstairs and i rigged up the two-way radio by my bed. I fell asleep listening to Dad's breathing. In the middle of the night i suddenly woke with a quick noise and the same lip-smacking sound Dad had made earlier coming from the radio. I raced downstairs and looked at Dad whose back i could just make out in the darkness was moving with his breathing, but who was otherwise still. Mum seemed unaware but had been asleep herself. This morning there were a few saliva-spots on Dad's pillow which i think is further evidence that he had at least one more seizure in the night. Of course none of us saw him fit after that first one, so we're just not certain.
He has been very quiet and very passive so far today. The nurses commented that shaving him had been far easier. I only managed to get one spoon of breakfast into him this morning. He retched a bit and we were worried he would be sick, so gave him some anti-nausea medicine and have put him in the recovery position so he cannot choke. He is sleeping now, snoring gently.

Busted

There was a bit of night-time activity last night. Mum told me that Dad sat upright in the middle of the night waking her; he explained he was checking the carpet was ok. She later got up to go to the loo but hurried back as Dad started shouting and he said quite seriously "Be careful the ground doesn't swallow you up" Dad is clearly much less well than he was a fortnight ago. He seems happy enough during the day reading the paper or listening to the radio in bed, but is alert enough to be a bit bored upstairs and mentions coming downstairs. Currently though we are worried that if we do manage to get him dressed and downstairs safely we may not manage to get him back upstairs. Dad has been quite chatty today. When he wants to talk i make sure i let him finish saying whatever he has to say. His voice is weak so you must listen carefully and he doesn't often make sense. Sometimes i tell him i don't understand and at other times i worry he will catch me out if i try to make a sensible response to something crazy he has said. This evening he gave me a funny look at just such an occasion and when i asked him why he was giving me that look he replied with a raised eyebrow "i think you are talking in riddles" Hmmm... that's me busted!