Pale and Purple

This morning Dad is breathing very rapidly and his breaths are shallow. He is very warm and clammy and  had some blood in his mouth when i came downstairs; I think he must have had another seizure in the night and bitten his tongue. I've also noticed that although warm, his hands are a ghostly white and his knees look purple, while his shins and feet are a bit pale. The nurse who came this morning washed him and remarked that he did look different from yesterday. Early on the nurses declared what a 'lovely bottom' Dad had, but this morning the nurse found a pressure sore on his bum. So we have put some cream on it, in the hopes it doesn't burst and become even more painful for Dad. He is lying quietly now with the radio on and i am going to light a fire as it is freezing.

Goodnight is the hardest word

Night-time is hard. I spend all day every day with Dad at the moment and i find it really hard to say Goodnight to him. Even though he squeezes my fingers in his hand and tells me goodnight too. I don't like leaving him downstairs in the dark all alone, especially now he is so weak, skinny and confused. Worse still are the mornings. I know it is very possible sometime soon that i will go to wake him in the morning and not be able to.