A day of visitors but few words

Mum's cantankerous old cat excelled herself this morning by vomiting all over the lounge moments ahead of visitors arriving. She has been in disgrace all day since. Dad has been almost mute today. These visitors were a work friend of Dad's and his wife and although Dad communicated with hand-grabs, looks and eyebrows he didn't actually say a word. As soon as they left i said to Dad "It was nice to see them again wasn't it Dad?" Of course, it was at that point that Dad spoke and said "Yes". The Macmillan nurse came during the afternoon and couldn't really evaluate the effectiveness of the patch we put on Dad yesterday. She said it was better to reconsider the dose when we replace the patch (which will be Thursday) so we have seen it at its most effective. We are continuing with the oramorph too. I asked her if Dad is in the sort of condition that she would expect at this stage from her experience of melanoma (and other cancer) patients and she said he is. Dad's head is still fixed looking to the left. He doesn't seem in pain when he is still but when the nurses move him to wash him and change his pyjamas he makes such a face it looks like he is in agony. I find it really hard to see him like that, but the Macmillan nurse said not to worry that he is in a lot of pain as it is quite likely also an expression of displeasure at being moved around and messed with. He has never been a very touchy-feely person, so although that makes sense, it still worries us. He only does it when his head and neck are moved and the only other thing he said today was "Ouch!" when moved by the nurses in the evening, so i hope the full strength of the patch comes into effect soon. Partly because of the position of Dad's head and partly because he cannot understand verbal directions anymore we are now feeding Dad liquids only and through a plastic syringe. We have been told we can continue like this as long as he can reliably swallow, which he still can. Once he can no longer swallow a line can be hooked up to give him medicine and fluids.

Busted

There was a bit of night-time activity last night. Mum told me that Dad sat upright in the middle of the night waking her; he explained he was checking the carpet was ok. She later got up to go to the loo but hurried back as Dad started shouting and he said quite seriously "Be careful the ground doesn't swallow you up" Dad is clearly much less well than he was a fortnight ago. He seems happy enough during the day reading the paper or listening to the radio in bed, but is alert enough to be a bit bored upstairs and mentions coming downstairs. Currently though we are worried that if we do manage to get him dressed and downstairs safely we may not manage to get him back upstairs. Dad has been quite chatty today. When he wants to talk i make sure i let him finish saying whatever he has to say. His voice is weak so you must listen carefully and he doesn't often make sense. Sometimes i tell him i don't understand and at other times i worry he will catch me out if i try to make a sensible response to something crazy he has said. This evening he gave me a funny look at just such an occasion and when i asked him why he was giving me that look he replied with a raised eyebrow "i think you are talking in riddles" Hmmm... that's me busted!

Loose connections

Today has been a blur of phone calls in between feeding Dad. I got a few calls from work, since i'm working from home, but we also had calls from the Macmillan nurse, as well as a regional nurse, that the Macmillan nurse has mobilised. Then a continuing care nurse called who will organise daily visits from even more nurses... I told Dad earlier that he ought to move over and make room for me as i'm getting confused too. A hospital bed is being provided for Dad which will make it possible for us to raise him to a sitting position at the touch of a button. On seeing the house the nurse has suggested setting Dad up down in the sitting room so that he can feel involved in things, rather than shut away Mrs Rochester-style. I think he has felt a bit left out today as the neighbour popped around with some more cakes and my brother came for the night. Both the neighbour and my brother have spent time with Dad, but it's not the same. Hearing talk and laughter downstairs and not being able to join in must be miserable. This afternoon Mum was having a drink and i was wrangling some work emails when we heard a floorboard creak above us. We both froze wondering if Dad was on the move and there was suddenly an almighty thud. We both hurtled up the stairs and found Dad on the floor by the bed. He had fallen over trying to get to the bathroom. He doesn't seem to have hurt himself at all and i helped him to the bathroom, then back to bed, with strict instructions Not to try to get up on his own. Recently we have noticed him sitting strangely positioned in bed occasionally, so suspect he has tried to do this before. Mum is now barricading him and her into their bedroom with a chair before she goes to bed at night to ensure he cannot end up falling down the stairs in the middle of the night.
Keeping us on our toes, Dad has a new code for us to crack. He kept saying to us each today that he wants to connect something. He has mentioned the television, the radio and making tea. He obviously wants something as he has said almost the same thing to each of us at different times during the day. I find this really upsetting as i want to help him but just can't understand or even guess what he wants.
This evening, my brother and i managed to groom Mum's elderly, vicious and alzheimers-esque cat. She has trouble grooming herself now that she's 21 and a half, so develops big mats in her fur. Anyway between us we managed to cut and brush most of the mats out and remarkably without blood-loss on either side!