Patchwork

I held the fort this morning while Mum played tennis with some friends. I like to give her opportunity to do something other than look after Dad. She has been looking after him for longer than i have afterall. After thrashing her opponents on the court, Mum went to the pharmacy to collect the patch prescribed by the doctor last night. We decided to put the patch on Dad as soon as we could. The packet was really fiddly to open and after struggling to get into it we pulled out a tiny postage-stamp-sized little sticker which we applied to the top of Dad's arm. Each patch lasts 72 hours but we have been warned that it will take about 24 hours for the patch to have any effect, so in the meantime we are continuing to give him the liquid morphine (six spoons a day) He is still holding his head firmly to the left and proving difficult to feed in this position; which must be uncomfortable. He hasn't said much again today except when this morning's nurse asked how he felt today Dad's response was "downhill"

Looking awkward

Today has been a day of activity. My brother and my boyfriend were here so we put them to work fixing the fridge this morning. The panel-cover was coming away from the door and there was an almighty midnight-snack-exposing creak which needed fixing too. After the fridge came the firewood which needed chopping smaller. Dad has been quiet all day again. He fell asleep yesterday evening with his head facing sharply to the left and looked uncomfortable. Today he stayed in that position all day and seemed in pain when we tried to help him move to face anything other than the wall. We called the NHS out of hours service again and a doctor came to see Dad. She told us there could be several reasons for the neck pain and concluded there is no danger in moving Dad but that it is simply a question of comfort. We now have a prescription for a morphine patch which we can get from the pharmacy tomorrow. It will release 12mg an hour into his system, through his skin, for 72 hours so is a much more constant dose than we are currently able to give him. The doctor said that if it is only pain-related this may enable Dad to sit holding his head straight again. It is also possible however that it is caused somehow by the metastases in his brain and will not be remedied. At least we can relieve his pain, even if he sits a bit wonky.

Old Brain's Party Plan

Dad was quite chatty this morning. While i was feeding him breakfast he quietly said "Old Brain" I'm not sure what exactly that meant but he nodded and raised an eyebrow very seriously, as if it was something wise i should take note of. During the morning, when Mum was out collecting another prescription and i was sitting here dealing with work emails, Dad suddenly said "We'll have to make sure someone is responsible for drinks" I thought 'eh?' and asked which drinks. Dad told me we were having a party on Saturday and my brother should be in charge of the drinks. This was news to me (and Mum!) He hasn't said anything since that, but has just been sitting back in bed staring into nothingness. That 'party' conversation is the nearest any of us has got to having a conversation with Dad in weeks, so although it was meaningless really, it was nice. He has had a few moments of absence today where he has stared straight through me while i spoke to him and waved in front of him. I've also noticed that his right hand has jerked around on two separate occasions, like a local seizure of the hand alone and only lasting 10 seconds. It was especially obvious as his hand was flapping against today's newspaper. He is snoozing now. Drug-wise, yesterday we increased Dad's dose of morphine from three 5ml teaspoons a day to four teaspoons. He seems to be in more pain today again, so i'm not sure at what rate we should increase it, but the community nurse who is coming tomorrow will advise us. Dad is still on 8mg of dexamethasone daily.