Talk and Cakes

Mum and Dad's neighbour has been very generously baking cakes and treats for Mum and Dad over the past few months. Quite independently this morning Dad cheekily said we were overdue a visit from the neighbour. As if by magic, she later appeared with a plate of chocolate brownies and scones. Yum. Dad has since been asleep. He has been very quiet today and only eaten the yoghurt we gave him for breakfast. He has complained more definitely of pain in his head today, so has had four spoons of morphine so far. This morning Dad was talking about 'going away' and being 'almost there' which alarmed Mum as she remembers Grandpa doing the same shortly before he died. Grandpa was lucid to the end though, whereas Dad's mental capacity is obviously impaired, so maybe he means nothing by it.

Loose connections

Today has been a blur of phone calls in between feeding Dad. I got a few calls from work, since i'm working from home, but we also had calls from the Macmillan nurse, as well as a regional nurse, that the Macmillan nurse has mobilised. Then a continuing care nurse called who will organise daily visits from even more nurses... I told Dad earlier that he ought to move over and make room for me as i'm getting confused too. A hospital bed is being provided for Dad which will make it possible for us to raise him to a sitting position at the touch of a button. On seeing the house the nurse has suggested setting Dad up down in the sitting room so that he can feel involved in things, rather than shut away Mrs Rochester-style. I think he has felt a bit left out today as the neighbour popped around with some more cakes and my brother came for the night. Both the neighbour and my brother have spent time with Dad, but it's not the same. Hearing talk and laughter downstairs and not being able to join in must be miserable. This afternoon Mum was having a drink and i was wrangling some work emails when we heard a floorboard creak above us. We both froze wondering if Dad was on the move and there was suddenly an almighty thud. We both hurtled up the stairs and found Dad on the floor by the bed. He had fallen over trying to get to the bathroom. He doesn't seem to have hurt himself at all and i helped him to the bathroom, then back to bed, with strict instructions Not to try to get up on his own. Recently we have noticed him sitting strangely positioned in bed occasionally, so suspect he has tried to do this before. Mum is now barricading him and her into their bedroom with a chair before she goes to bed at night to ensure he cannot end up falling down the stairs in the middle of the night.
Keeping us on our toes, Dad has a new code for us to crack. He kept saying to us each today that he wants to connect something. He has mentioned the television, the radio and making tea. He obviously wants something as he has said almost the same thing to each of us at different times during the day. I find this really upsetting as i want to help him but just can't understand or even guess what he wants.
This evening, my brother and i managed to groom Mum's elderly, vicious and alzheimers-esque cat. She has trouble grooming herself now that she's 21 and a half, so develops big mats in her fur. Anyway between us we managed to cut and brush most of the mats out and remarkably without blood-loss on either side!

Another Doctor

Dad has declined notably over the past week, even with an increased dose of steroids and now morphine. The days when he does not get out of bed are slowly starting to outnumber the days that he does. His appetite has vanished too and Mum has resorted to buying Dad's favourite biscuits, cakes and treats in order to tempt him to eat anything at all. This change in him provoked the Macmillan nurse to bring a doctor with her when she visited today. (Dad's specialist is on holiday this week and she wanted a doctor's opinion.) In evaluating Dad, the doctor asked Dad a few questions, most of which Dad gave complicated non-sensical answers to. Mum had been worried it might have been the effect of the morphine, but unfortunately the doctor confirmed this was due to the progress of the disease. I hate him being so muddled. It seems impossible that it is really him. I wait for him to tell me he is pulling my leg, an assurance that never comes. The doctor recommended we increase the dose of morphine to eliminate Dad's headaches. He also suggested the radiotherapy scheduled to start tomorrow may bring Dad discomfort outweighing the possible (but not guaranteed) benefits. So Mum is going to call the specialist tomorrow to see what he advises. Dad has some old friends coming to visit tomorrow, who he is looking forward to seeing. Will he or won't he get out of bed for them i wonder?

Scan news

This week Dad had a full body scan, the first since September and the completion of his radiotherapy. We have noticed over the past fortnight that he is increasingly tired, confused and headaches have returned, so feared the worst, but in fact although it revealed that the metastasis on his left side is growing (two months ago it was 4cm and it is now 6cm) it also showed that the whole brain radiotherapy has slightly reduced the size of the metastases in his brain. The oncologist, recognising the return of symptoms, has increased Dad's steroid dose again. He is now on 4mg of dexamethasone a day (originally put on 16mg a day back in August and since weaned down to 2mg a day week by week) This should reduce the swelling surrounding each metastasis in his brain, reducing the pressure on his brain and hopefully the symptoms. We were told Dad is not well enough for an operation  but he will be given radiotherapy for the metastasis on his left side.
Scans aside, Mum and Dad are doing well for cake at the moment, as their neighbour is kindly providing a regular supply of home-baked goodies. Dad has always had a sweet tooth, so he is very much enjoying this. He even has enough appetite to wolf down several at a time! Some golfing buddies came round and my cousin visited too with his girlfriend. Dad enjoys seeing people but gets tired quickly at the moment and zones-out a bit during conversations. Having said that, he was cheerful at lunch out on Saturday and when asked how the doctor's visit was he replied "He was very well thankyou!"