Pale and Purple

This morning Dad is breathing very rapidly and his breaths are shallow. He is very warm and clammy and  had some blood in his mouth when i came downstairs; I think he must have had another seizure in the night and bitten his tongue. I've also noticed that although warm, his hands are a ghostly white and his knees look purple, while his shins and feet are a bit pale. The nurse who came this morning washed him and remarked that he did look different from yesterday. Early on the nurses declared what a 'lovely bottom' Dad had, but this morning the nurse found a pressure sore on his bum. So we have put some cream on it, in the hopes it doesn't burst and become even more painful for Dad. He is lying quietly now with the radio on and i am going to light a fire as it is freezing.

Seized

Just as i posted that last entry Dad had another small seizure. We haven't seen him have any seizures since he had three in 24 hours about ten days ago, despite watching him like hawks since. During the seizure his head stayed firmly to the left this time, but his jaw twitched, opening and closing his mouth, as he stared straight ahead. He fell asleep straight away and i have let him rest and waited a little while before trying to rouse him from sleep just enough to give him another dose of morphine, but he is so deeply asleep that i cannot wake him even pinching his earlobe, so i will head to bed.

Old Brain's Party Plan

Dad was quite chatty this morning. While i was feeding him breakfast he quietly said "Old Brain" I'm not sure what exactly that meant but he nodded and raised an eyebrow very seriously, as if it was something wise i should take note of. During the morning, when Mum was out collecting another prescription and i was sitting here dealing with work emails, Dad suddenly said "We'll have to make sure someone is responsible for drinks" I thought 'eh?' and asked which drinks. Dad told me we were having a party on Saturday and my brother should be in charge of the drinks. This was news to me (and Mum!) He hasn't said anything since that, but has just been sitting back in bed staring into nothingness. That 'party' conversation is the nearest any of us has got to having a conversation with Dad in weeks, so although it was meaningless really, it was nice. He has had a few moments of absence today where he has stared straight through me while i spoke to him and waved in front of him. I've also noticed that his right hand has jerked around on two separate occasions, like a local seizure of the hand alone and only lasting 10 seconds. It was especially obvious as his hand was flapping against today's newspaper. He is snoozing now. Drug-wise, yesterday we increased Dad's dose of morphine from three 5ml teaspoons a day to four teaspoons. He seems to be in more pain today again, so i'm not sure at what rate we should increase it, but the community nurse who is coming tomorrow will advise us. Dad is still on 8mg of dexamethasone daily.

Absent without leave - passive seizures

Dad has been very quiet for a few days. He thumbs a few pages of the newspaper but doesn't really read it, despite having read one every day of the 29 years that i have known him. He often stares at the television for long periods but we can't say how much he is actually interested and how much he is drawn to look in its direction simply because of the sound and motion. He is not interested in food, but mostly puts up with us spoon-feeding him and seems annoyed almost at our insitence that he tries to drink more too. He told me the other day "Stop trying to pump me full of water"
After Dad's recent seizures i realised that he has, i think, been having seizures for a while, but seizures of absence rather than active physical seizures. There are periods where he stares at nothing and it is impossible to get his attention through talking and waving at him. They tend to only last 10 - 20 seconds each time, but it has happened several times most days. He often says a few words of a sentence and then suddenly stops without finishing it. We had noticed that he 'zoned-out' every so often, but it was only after seeing him have an active seizure that i really thought about it. I'm sure he was only confused last night though, when he hiccupped loudly while the nurses were here and i said "Been on the sauce again Dad?" and he replied "No you've been on it for me!" Serves me right for being cheeky.

Another Fit

Dad slept almost all day and it was only around 5pm that he was more awake and we managed to get him to eat anything (some strawberries) So much for getting more fluids and fibre into him.  He was more alert with the afternoon visit from the nurses and when they said "We'll be off now then" Dad said "Oh good" He didn't mean to be rude, we've noticed in fact that he makes an extra effort to behave with visitors, so it brought a smile to our faces (and the nurses took it well). After dinner Mum, my brother and i settled with Dad to watch the television and Dad had another small seizure. It was over a bit quicker than last night and we put him in the recovery position to sleep it off.

Fits but no giggles

Dad had a seizure last night. It wasn't a full body seizure; it only seemed to affect his head, neck and shoulder, but it was still alarming. My brother and i were sitting with him watching television and we suddenly realised Dad was making a lip-smacking noise and shuddering. It lasted about a minute. We waited for the seizure to end and i looked inside his mouth to check he hadn't bitten his tongue, then lay him down to sleep. Mum called the NHS out of hours service and a doctor called us back about 15 minutes later. We spoke through everything and he reassured us that we were doing the right thing to let him sleep and that there wasn't anything more we could do. Having taught first aid for years i am familiar with treatment for epileptic seizures, but knowing Dad doesn't have epilepsy, wanted to double check the same treatment was correct for Dad's situation. Mum decided to sleep downstairs and i rigged up the two-way radio by my bed. I fell asleep listening to Dad's breathing. In the middle of the night i suddenly woke with a quick noise and the same lip-smacking sound Dad had made earlier coming from the radio. I raced downstairs and looked at Dad whose back i could just make out in the darkness was moving with his breathing, but who was otherwise still. Mum seemed unaware but had been asleep herself. This morning there were a few saliva-spots on Dad's pillow which i think is further evidence that he had at least one more seizure in the night. Of course none of us saw him fit after that first one, so we're just not certain.
He has been very quiet and very passive so far today. The nurses commented that shaving him had been far easier. I only managed to get one spoon of breakfast into him this morning. He retched a bit and we were worried he would be sick, so gave him some anti-nausea medicine and have put him in the recovery position so he cannot choke. He is sleeping now, snoring gently.